The 99 and the 1 (Problems)

One of my closest friends, Matt Gaylon, took the now former Sara Kandt to be his wife yesterday.  Although, I've known Matt since we were in college together, we first really started hanging out in the summer of 2007.   We were two members of a group of guys that began to bond closer than our previous acquaintanceship and the Epoch Crew was born.  It was in the course of one such Crew hangout that Matt quipped that a friend was having problems with his girlfriend.  Another friend (Jason Myhre, I think) proceeded to quote the poet, Jay-Z, proclaimed that "If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son."  "Man, I would love to have girl problems," Matt quipped.  Several months later, his pursuit of Sara would begin.

Since then, Jason and I often come back to the issue of the 100th problem (and my planned tweet, should I ever acquire one).  That has led me to ponder, though, what are my 99 problems?  Both things that afflict me and things that afflict others around me.  Here's what I have:

1. My Flesh
2. The World
3. The Devil  
4. The lust of the flesh
5. The lust of the eyes
6. The boastful pride of life
7. Jealousy
8. Covetousness
9. Envy
10. Fear of man
11. Osama ben Laden
12. State-sponsored terror
13. State-sponsored genocide (including abortion)
14. Oppressive states that prohibit religious freedom
15. The New York Yankees
16. The Dallas Cowboys
17. The Liverpool Football Club
18. The Chelsea Football Club
19. The Los Angeles Lakers
20. The San Antonio Spurs
21. Mo' money
22. Playa's
23. Haters
24. Playa-haters
25. NBC dumping my favorite late night comic (#teamCoCo)
26. The fact that The Office jumped the shark sometime after season 4
27. The Star Wars prequels barely lived up to half of their potential
28. The problem of evil
29. The proliferation of Nuclear Weapons
30. The Bowl Championship Series
31. Cancer (specifically, that my mom's had it three times)
32. Asthma (it afflicts both my parents)
33. Gluten Intolerance (afflicts one brother and my father)
34. H1N1 
35. Bird Flu
36. The proliferation of pornography
37. The ready-availability of drugs and cheap booze in my neighborhood
38. That I struggle to reach out to my neighbors
39. I never got to see Bleach, Five Iron Frenzy, or Noise Ratchet in concert
40. The Grammy's seldom recognize deserving artists
41. The Recording Industry in America focuses more on money than music
42. So many of my dear friends and relatives don't know Christ
43. That I struggle to speak the Gospel to my friends and relatives who don't know Christ
44. I haven't left the country since 2006
45. Work can be a grind
46. The majority of Americans drink bad coffee
47. The tangled maze of Southern Baptist bureaucracy 
48. The vicious political infighting of the Southern Baptist Convention
49. Clinging to the traditions of men over the clear teaching of Scripture regarding issues like alcohol.
50. Blaming it on the al-ah-ah-ah-al-co-hol
51. Inconsistency
52. My inconsistency
53. Revenge
54. Bitterness
55. Passivity
56. Laziness
57. Grammar-Check on Microsoft Word
58. Frustration
59. Anger
60. Busy work
61. Reading secondary sources when primary sources are available
62. That the MDiv degree is 90 hours long
63. The increased professionalisation of Christian ministry
64. Rampant egalitarianism in the home and church
65. Tarring and feathering one's opponents on a given issue
66. Elevating secondary issues to primary issues
67. The Baptist Identity movement
68. Racism
69. Classism
70. Sexism
71. Narcissism
72. Soccer not being embraced by a wider spectrum of the America public
73. Square 1
74. Winter's cold
75. Occasionally breaking out in hives due to unknown allergies
76. Communication difficulties
77. Dissension
78. Factions
79. Natural disasters
80. Legislating from the bench
81. Big government
82. That there are only 24 hours in a day
83. That I can't really function off of < 5 hours sleep
84. Poverty
85. Violence
86. Spam
87. High Fructose Corn Syrup
88. GMOs
89. PACs
90. Partisan Congressional Bickering
91. The Republican Party
92. The Democratic Party
93. Catholic school girls who order Frappuccinos en masse
94. The mothers of Catholic school girls who order half-caf sugar-free vanilla nonfat 1 & 1/2 Splenda lattes en masse.
95. My iPod has been missing for several months
96. Yoko Ono
97. Congress has a vendetta against Djarum
98. Dissatisfaction and discontentment
99. My heart seeks satisfaction from idols, instead of the living God

There it is, in no particular order.  Some are deadly serious.  Some are comical or farcical.  Such is my life.